I had a labor-intensive teaching job and I attend to them and took each of them to therapy several days a week after school. Besides, contrary to what some people would say later, I was the ONLY one who came forward.
I enrolled them in the private school where I taught and paid tuition. My second husband, I believe, just couldn't handle it.
She was so happy to see me...running toward me as if I was the light of her world. I remember how my heart warmed to see my beautiful little girl that day and so many day. I did all the things for my daughter and my son that had never been done for me.
When the grief overtakes me, I remember moments like those that cannot be taken away from me. I did all the things I thought good moms do--including abstaining from alcohol, my family's curse.
I knew he had an anger problem all his life after a head injury from a motorcycle accident when he was young.
He told me about this anger management issue on our very first date. But once the 3 girls came into our home, I do believe the stress on him caused the anger problems to arise.
I thought it would be good for them to connect to some of their distant relatives on my mom's side of the family.
Also, I did not have money for Christmas and this was a good way to get around the problem.
No one else stepped forward to this incredible responsibility. My own two children were grown and out of the house.
I loved my nieces very much and by now my daughter was 20 years old. These kids had had it very rough, and I wanted to be there for them.
I hugged them and told them I loved them everyday because my parents never did that for me. Thinking back, I realize now I must have not been there for my daughter completely with all of this on my mind. He had been my first boyfriend and we never had a real partnership or intimacy.
I could go on and on about all the things I did that I thought were being a good mother. Seeing my sister die at only 35, the sober reality of how short life really is hit me in the face like cold water. She once told me during a particularly hard time in High School "If it weren't for Joe, I'd be on drugs or pregnant." I was so happy that he took delight in listening to all of her teenage problems, give her counsel and advice.
I wish she would forgive me...only she would talk to me I would beg her forgiveness for hurting her..this, is, indeed what it was.